Excuse me for preaching…

Carter and I just saw An Inconvenient Truth Tuesday night. Afterwards, I dreamed that I confronted George Bush on his environmental failings. Clearly I’m still working through some of my anxiety over the facts presented in the movie. It’s an amazing film and, at least for now, has inspired us to stay away from the mall and keep plugging away at our attempts to simplify our lives. I wish the Al Gore who made this movie had shown up for the election in 2000. We would most definitely be living in a different country and maybe a different world right now if he had.

I left feeling pissed at our current administration (working through that anger in my sleep I guess). The science certainly seems compelling to me–I mean, if you’re into that kind of thing…you know, believing what 900+ scientists have to say. As a mom, I just couldn’t stop thinking about my children. What kind of mess are we leaving them with? 50 years is just the blink of an eye–and we could be living, or trying to live, in an almost uninhabitable world. Our children will still be so young, and our future grandchildren will just be venturing out into the world. What will be left for them to see? How is it that this isn’t front page news every single day?

When I came up with this crazy consumer-free project, I promised myself that I wouldn’t get evangelical, wouldn’t go around preaching simplicity, wouldn’t go screaming about environmental sensitivity in the middle of Wal-Mart . . .but I walked out of that movie wondering how everyone isn’t losing a little sleep over this issue. Does it feel too overwhelming to think about? Are we really more concerned about our big cars and big houses than what the world will look like in our lifetime? Can’t we all try just a little harder?

One of the points debated (and confronted in the film) is that environmentalism hurts the economy. I’m quite sure that our family’s 6-month spree (anti-spree?) alone will cause no economic harm. We certainly haven’t gone to the extreme of people like Matt Watkins (“Buy Nothing for a Year” http://dominionpaper.ca/environment/2004/12/19/buy_nothin.html) or the group called the Compact in CA who pledge to purchase nothing (with the exception of socks and underwear) for an entire year. Gore offers a great visual of bars of gold on one side of a scale, and the earth on the other. He says “over here you have bars of gold. And over here, you have the whole earth. Bars of gold. The entire planet. Hmmmm…” In the end, if we all make a few sacrifices, isn’t it worth it if we still have our have our planet to live on?

Gore offers a message of hope (without mention of a lock box) with a number of ideas that every family can do to make a small difference. Visit www.climatecrisis.net for ideas, facts and figures. And please go see this movie! It opened my eyes and encouraged me to stay true to our pledge–at least for now! I’m stepping off my soap box now and will try not to return…

From dorm room to dangerously overloaded

The comment from Michelle (my college roomate) made me think…how did I get from dorm room contents to what I have now? I admit, it did take two cars to move me in to my dorm room at Wake Forest every year. And because my family lived pretty close, I would usually accumulate quite a bit more during the year. When I first met Carter, he claimed that he never wanted to own more than he could fit into his 1970-something Mazda GLC hatchback. I was never clear if this was due to his desire for minimalism, or to the exhaust smell that filled the car and tended to stick with you or whatever was with you for several days. But boy did I change that man and his ways.

We moved to Lexington, KY right before we married, filling a huge box truck with our belongings — mainly clothes, some hand-me-down furniture, and far too many wedding presents. These were the early days of the Pottery Barn catalog and I so wanted our home to look like something from it’s pages. So we bought, and bought. We didn’t have children then so two incomes would go incredibly far. We also purchased clothes like crazy people and spent a small fortune eating out and traveling.

By the time we moved back to NC, we required a portion of an 18-wheeler to move us. Our first home was 1300 square feet with 3 bedrooms. We expanded to fill that space, then had to downsize when we moved to Northern CA and had to fit our necessary belongings, as well as baby equipment and a home office, into a meager 900 square feet. Yet we filled an 18-wheeler again on that move! We decided to store some of our “beloved” belongings in a storage unit in NC, assuming we would return eventually. But once we did, almost two years later, we realized we had paid over $1000 to store a bunch of crap we never missed–and we turned around and sold it all at a yard sale (pocketing a whopping $200–some really great financial management).

Our first Chapel Hill house was more than twice the size of our CA house, and once again, we bought enough to fill it. And of course, once our daughter was up and moving about, she had to have a playroom (in addition to her own room). That room, along with our full-sized attic and garage were filled with current kid stuff, or outgrown kid stuff we planned to use again.

Our new house (well, old house, but new to us) that we purchased so that we could get into the coveted Chapel Hill school system, has no attic and no garage. So what you see is what you get in this house. If we aren’t currently using it, it has to go. However, this house is the largest house we’ve ever owned (2400 sq. feet–probably considered small to most by todays standards!) and every room is filled. And naturally, I’ve cast aside my Pottery Barn ways for more modern design, so I set my sites on replacing a lot of our stuff with clean-lined furniture and mid-century modern classics. Time to stop moving and start replacing!

So Michelle, thanks for bringing back the Davis dorm memories. I did have some damn fine Halloween decorations in the day. We’re hardly suffering so far with our purchase-free living, but check in with me in October and it may be a different story!

Happy Birthday Love

My husband, Carter, turns 35 today. Happy Birthday, Love….enjoy a homemade card from the kids, a breakfast that is slightly more special than normal, and a blog entry from me! Now that we’re on the no-stuff wagon (or is it off the wagon…I always confuse those two?), we’re celebrating over cake and ice cream at the beach and calling that our party. Sorry babe, no gifts. I did sneak in a few new shirts for him right before we went cold turkey. Hopefully the joy of those hasn’t worn off completely.

To be honest, I don’t think Carter will mind that he isn’t getting presents. Ever since his hand was slapped as a child for saying “where’s my nuther gift” a few too many times at his 4th birthday, I think he prefers to remain in the shadows at gift giving time. I, however, love to give and receive gifts. So this is perhaps more of a challenge for me, than for him. I pride myself on being a good gift giver. I put a lot of time and thought into finding just the right gift, and I keep little notes in my purse if someone mentions something they might like to have, just so I can spring it on them when they least expect it. And when it comes time to receive, I have high expectations–the more gifts the merrier.

But I’m sitting on my hands (and my credit card) this year and hoping that a day with the family and some tasty cake will make Carter feel special, and that I won’t feel like a total failure for keeping it simple. And I’ll offer to revisit this experiment next May for my Birthday so we can keep it even!

I love you, Carter. Happy Birthday!

Fantasy Shopper

Reading back over my first three posts, I must confess that I misrepresented myself when I said I don’t LOVE to shop. Actually, that’s not altogether true. I don’t love traditional shopping. Going to the mall hasn’t been fun for me since I hung out at the arcade in Jr. High, with my asymetrical haircut and double pierced ears, thinking Cato was cool. Even today, I don’t enjoy driving around to lots of different shops just to browse or see what’s new. But I do love a good catalog, and I’ve been known to lose hours to eBay and Craig’s List. The hunt for that special item is thrilling, and when I find a bargain, I will tell the world how much money I saved. What I truly enjoy is thinking about all of the things that I would buy if I had unlimited funds. I can remember, as young as age 10, sitting down with my sister and a good catalog and imagining that we could pick out as many items as we wanted on each page of the catalog. These were my early fantasy shopper days. And now, as an adult, I walk room to room in my house and think of every item I would like to purchase to make that room look great (as well as every required renovation project that would make it look even better!). It was during this very activity that the question “What is enough?” popped into my head. We have a nice home, full of nice furniture, in a nice town, and I have nice clothes and a nice car. Why do I still want more stuff? 10 days off of shopping certainly hasn’t cured me. I’m still jonesing for my stuff fix. What will it take to feel that I finally have enough?

Aversion Therapy

I tried a little shopping aversion therapy on myself this weekend. In the same way that a smoker who is trying to quit might sit in an unventilated room and smoke 3 packs, I took myself and my shopping list to a place I despise like no other–Wal-Mart. Nevermind my politics, I truly dislike everything about the superstore. The harsh lighting, the smiley faces winking at you from every oversized sign, the faux hardwood floors that attempt to “warm” the place up, the surly help at the customer service desk. I once went 3 rounds and spent 20 minutes with a customer service associate at Wal-Mart to save $4.00 on a pack of diapers. I vowed never to return. But alas, the desire to succeed at living “consumer-free” got the best of me. I know myself too well–Target is my temptress, my shopping lover, the reason my credit card bill is always about $300 higher than expected. I have to go cold turkey on Target.

So to Wal-Mart I went–needing to purchase 5 items (all necessary “exceptions” like diapers for my son, paper towels, shower gel, etc.). And that’s all I bought! No cute yet unnecessary lamps, no 1/2 priced seasonal beach toys for the kids, no workout clothes I just can’t live without. There was no enjoyment in the experience–I was in and out with the stuff I needed and no extras. Wal-Mart–you were my shopping salvation. Now, I wonder how many more times I’ll have to return in the next 5 months and 3 weeks?

Success or Failure…that is the question

We’re still in week one and, to be honest, nothing feels different. Perhaps if we weren’t attempting to live “consumer-free,” I would have made a trip to Target and purchased a load of crap in addition to the stuff I really needed, but otherwise, it’s a pretty normal week. With the exception of putting one of our dearly beloved cats to sleep (Maggie, may you rest in peace) and having our air conditioning go out during one of the hottest days of the summer (see “replacement exception” in first post–I had to replace the electrical board of our air conditioning unit once it went out, or I might have resorted to harming one of my children due to extreme heat and grumpiness), I feel no different. During this week I’ve managed to purchase only food, gas, and one dinner out to thank my saint of a sister for taking my children away for the night. So far, so good.

Reasons why I think we may succeed at this experiment of living consumer-free for six months:

I don’t LOVE shopping. I like it, but it’s not a true passion

We don’t have cable television, so our children aren’t exposed to the thousands of toy commercials on channels such as Nickelodeon or Disney

It’s hot and humid in NC right now, so getting in and out of the car with two young children is something I try to do as infrequently as possible

My husband and I have a healthy level of discomfort with debt (including the fair share we’ve already accumulated)

I’m passionate about avoiding waste–I really believe that you shouldn’t have or keep things that you don’t need, use or love

Reasons why we might fail at this experiment of living consumer-free for six months:

My obsession with home magazines (Dwell, Better Homes and Gardens, Real Simple–all making me feel that our home is a hovel and needs an overhaul) and home improvement shows (limited to the occasional airing of This Old House on PBS thanks to no cable)

I’ve been known to do anything to avoid a temper tantrum in the middle of a store–I would purchase my son a miniature Porsche if I had the funds and could avoid his high pitched screams while running errands

My mother and sister are professional consumers and I love to spend time with them (and they both live dangerously close by and can be rather persuasive)

I enjoy entertaining, but I have an irrational fear that I’m constantly being judged by the quality of my home, things, art, furniture, yard–therefore, prior to a party, I’m likely to spend oodles trying to win over friends. I’m sure 3-4 years of therapy could clear that problem right up.

_________

So, we’ll see how we do as we wind up week one. Carter, my husband has been out of town on a business trip all week. I’ll have to sort through his pockets searching for receipts to see if he lived up to his end of the bargain. Oh, and the latest copy of Dwell Magazine came today–I’m sure I’ll get a little weepy while looking at all of those beautiful, perfect, modern homes pictured in it’s pages.

Week one of living with less

We’re off and running — the Kersh family is attempting to simplify our lives, be a little kinder to our environment, and live with less for the next six months. Our official start date was July 9 (the Sunday after we returned from a week at the beach–a little fatter and with a few last minute purchases).

Why we decided to do this? I work as a professional organizer, and I’m amazed at how overwhelmed my clients are by the stuff that they live with. I’ve had people describe feeling suffocated, depressed, unable to move on, and totally stuck thanks to their belongings. So I thought it might be interesting to see what it feels like to purchase nothing (see enormous list of exceptions below) for six months. Will we feel free? Will we have more money? Will we create less garbage? Will we save on gas by shopping less? Will we feel deprived? Will we cheat? Will our kids guilt us into purchasing them things? I have no idea what to expect. But I’ll put it all out there in this blog and you can read along to see how we do.

Other reasons we’re doing this–

Might be a good lesson for our children (at least our 5 year old is old enough to learn a little something. Day 2 she asked “Mom, how long before we get to start buying things we want again, instead of just stuff you say we need?” Thankfully, our 2 1/2 year old just wants occasional access to food and his collection of fans)

Should be a good reminder for us of the difference between want and need. Will I be more likely to think before I buy in the future?

We certainly don’t live off the grid, but despite our best efforts to recycle and compost, we still manage to fill an enormous trash can every week. Surely we can do better

Perhaps we can save money that we can put towards a family vacation or some other family activity, or just a bunch of frivolous crap that I feel like buying at the end of 6 months of deprivation!

The Goal: Purchase nothing for six months (I realize plenty of people pledge to do this for a year, but at least this is a start!)

The Exceptions: Food, drinks, toiletries, replacements for necessary items that stop working (eg cell phone, major appliances), iTunes, materials required to finish a disastrous landscaping project we’ve been working on for months (because I’ll go crazy if we have to look at it for six more months), school supplies/necessary office supplies and finally–Santa will still come to our house (but my husband and I will have to be creative with gifts for us and additional family members).

No-No’s: Clothes, shoes (asking my mother to purchase them for me is also not allowed), books, DVDs, furniture, decorative items, magazine subscriptions, computer hardware, kitchen gizmos, and toys (for us AND the kids).

This blog will be my honest take on this experience, as we attempt to answer the question “what is enough?”