Trip preparation…the great unequalizer

I like to think of my marriage as an equitable one for the most part. My husband works full time (which means anywhere from 50-90 hours/week), and I work part time (anywhere from 10-15 hours/week). So naturally, many of the household duties fall to me. And I’m fine with that. Where the fair and equitable division of labor really starts to break down is when we prepare for a trip. Carter may go so far as to book the airline tickets, but beyond that, it’s all me.

We’re getting ready to take our daughter to New York tomorrow for her big sixth birthday extravaganza. In order to make that trip happen, I have to pack her bags, pack my bags, pack my husband’s bags, pack my son’s bags since he’ll be going to Aunt Paige’s for the weekend, arrange for someone to feed the cat and the fish, arrange for the dry cleaning to be dropped off, charge the camera batteries, print the itinerary, write up the list of things for my mom to do for us since she’s taking care of our son on Friday and Monday, pay all of the bills before we leave, get cash and snacks, pack my daughter’s backpack of activities for the plane, call the painter who will begin painting our house while we’re away, write the letter to get an excused absense for my daughter for one day of school, water the plants, straighten the house (because really, who wants to come home to a dirty, trashed house?)…you get the picture.

My friend, Mojo Mom Amy Tiemann, has a saying that I love…”Make the invisible work visible.” I try to live by this–often running through a monotonous list of “to-dids” for my husband at the end of the day. (I suggest that my clients create a “to-did” list of all the things they accomplished during the day–even down to the nitty gritty like “Put gas in car”–to realize how much they DID get done, regardless of any overly ambitious to-do lists). Trip planning is no exception. I’ll probably spend the first 20 minutes of our plane ride recounting all that I accomplished today to get the 3 of us out the door, on time, and ready for a fantastic long weekend. After I get it out of my system, I’ll sit back, relax, order a cocktail, and be ready for an amazing weekend with our six year old in one of the greatest cities on earth.

Consumer-free gone bad…what’s a mom to wear?

Last Thursday I experienced a major drawback to consumer-free living. I stepped into my closet to retrieve an outfit for a presentation I had to give on Friday to a group at Merrill Lynch, and literally had nothing to wear. Carter came in to assist and forced me to start throwing things away. I realize how ironic this is, since this is how I typically spend my days helping my clients. He called me on all of my holey pants, hand-me-downs from my mom, even a few hand-me-downs from clients. It all had to go. Afterwards, I was left with very little.

We had our six months of no-shopping (see earlier blog posts beginning in July 2006). Prior to that, I had done some shopping, but mostly purchased comfy clothes for work and playing with the kids. I’m fully stocked on t-shirts, jeans and workout wear, but I haven’t purchased a business suit since 1997 (I ain’t lying–pleated pants and all!). I think I was on the verge of becoming one of those “I’ve let myself go” women on Oprah who start dressing in sweats every day and rarely put on makeup. I was in need of an intervention and didn’t even know it.

So to remedy my clothing emergency, I called a friend and headed to the mall at 10am on Friday (dressed in my “in case of emergency outfit” that would pass for a business meeting since my talk was at noon, but certainly didn’t make me feel fantastic) and started to shop for something groovy. I’ve personally never shopped like this before in my life. I walked into a store, found a suit, tried it on, bought it, asked the salesperson to cut off the tags, and wore it out of the store. Without even looking at the freakin’ price tag. (I do not recommend this when you’re purchasing Eileen Fisher). I then trotted off to my favorite University Mall Store, Wink, and bought a totally cool summer sweater to wear with suit of unknown cost. I won’t even fess up to the total damage–it was freakishly high. But damn did I look and feel great. And I credit that suit with an awesome presentation just an hour after I bought it off the rack.

I can’t do this on a regular basis. I don’t bank enough bucks as an organizer to come close to this kind of shopping. But I’m looking at one lean and mean closet in need of some re-stocking. I believe that every mom deserves a rockin’ wardrobe to pull out from time to time. Something a little nicer than a collection of Mossimo t-shirts in every color from Target. But I find that it’s hard to splurge on myself when there are so many other family expenses (summer camp bills to pay, house repairs to make, a new minivan in my future).

And really, at this point in my life, as I’m cruising towards 40, what is my personal style? I’m not ready to throw in the towel completely and start buying all of my shoes at Aerosole (although I did get some cute late-winter shoes there on sale earlier this year!). I REFUSE to become frump-mom. Do tell…what is your personal style? And how do you keep your wardrobe up to date without breaking the bank? If you catch me in Target, frantically tearing through the sale rack, please kindly point me in another direction!

Al Gore speaks to Congress

Tomorrow, March 21st, Al Gore will be speaking to Congress about the issue of climate change. It’s time to make this issue one that transcends partisanship. While many of the solutions to the climate crisis will be found within the political system, there should be bipartisan and transpartisan agreement on the basic nature of the crisis and the sense of urgency that is appropriate for us to solve it. Al Gore wants to bring 500,000 messages to Congress from American citizens — people like you and me, parents, business owners, grandparents, students, and other citizens who care. You can help to get your voice heard by visiting this site today (or at least within the next 24 hours!)

On Wednesday both the House and Senate will webcast the hearings live.

Al Gore’s testimony in the House of Representatives begins at 9:30 AM and you can watch the webcast by visiting this site

His testimony in the Senate begins at 2:30 PM and you can watch the webcast by visiting this site

My life is flashing before my eyes…

Today, our daughter turned six years old. People warned me that once elementary school started, life would start to fly by at warp speed. And it’s so true. I watch her now on the playground after school as she interacts with kids in first, second and third grade. She’s full of a confidence and spunky-ness that I hope and pray will never disappear. She now spends hours in her room reading big girl chapter books, and she’s overly concerned (in mom’s opinion!) about her clothes and her hair. She likes music like Jack Johnson and recently attended a High School Musical party and a school dance where she boogied down like a Soul Train dancer. Oh my…

Tonight we took her to dinner and said she could invite a friend to go along…and she choose a boy! She’s only six (and he’s only five) so of course it was a totally innocent, friendly dinner. But Carter and I kept looking across the table at each other and giggling/freaking out that this is what our future holds. Meeting boys that our girl brings home, making sure they’re nice and polite, hoping they treat her respectfully and appreciate her for all that she is.

We’re off in a week or so for our big NYC trip to celebrate her birthday. I can’t wait to show her that amazing city and remember what it was like to experience it for the first time. Going to a big city with a child is a fantastic chance to take in all of the cheesey, touristy things we no longer do as adults once we’ve visited a place a few times. I’m just as excited as she is to see the Statue of Liberty by boat and to roam through the Metropolitan Museum of Art and roll in the grass in Central Park. What an amazing way to enjoy your sixth birthday!

More minivan woes…

Not that my VW is looking all that spiffy…but really, is this my future?

Potty training update

We haven’t gone as far as forcing our son to go naked for an entire weekend in order to get the hang of life without diapers, but we are attempting to nudge a bit more in the direction of a diaper-free lifestyle. I’ve offered him lollipops–the kid could care less. M&M’s…said he didn’t like them. Made him a chart where he can place a super-cool car sticker every time he sits–he wasn’t buying it. So tonight I offered to buy him a Nissan Quest mini-van just like my sister drives–and the kid sat on the toilet for 10 minutes without fussing. Of course, nothing happened. But he did sit.

I think we’re on to something. We’ll push the potty, and our son will push us into buying a new car.

Good Car-ma, anyone?

Yes, the Kersh family is STILL debating our next car purchase. Our 2000 VW stationwagon has been our faithful driving companion for seven years, but now that our kids are getting older and have more friends and activities, we REALLY need a bigger car (hey, we did six months of buying nothing . . .we know need from want). The deadline of summer and our ambitious camp schedule along with my committment to carpooling is upping the ante and making us search more fervently. I logged a good 3 hours this weekend on carmax, autotrader, craigslist and ebay–but nothing is screaming out “buy me!”

All of this car shopping is taking place at the same time that Bush is dodging protesters all over South America, wheeling and dealing to import sugar-based ethanol and lessen our dependence on foreign oil (as if he cares). Where are all of the smart people in this nation who can create an automobile that runs on something other than oil (or ethanol-based products that require a ridiculous amount of oil to produce)? If some high school kids created a vehicle that runs on soy beans, then surely someone at GM can step it up.

There was that nifty little electric car in the early 2000’s–but car manufacturers, oil companies and the federal government nixed that well-loved vehicle before it even had a chance. (Want to spend an evening getting extremely frustrated…watch “Who Killed the Electric Car“). To date, there is no such thing as a hybrid mini-van. I know biodiesel is becoming a more viable option (I just searched and found that I can purchase this fuel in Durham, Apex and Pittsboro!), but I’m not aware of a diesel minivan, either. Every other possible option seems to be a good 3-5 years down the road. By that point I will have poisoned the minds of my children completely by uttering the “F” word every time I attempt to buckle a third car seat into our tiny wagon.

(Sigh)…for now, I’ll just read TreeHuggers suggestions for Greening up my Car, and keep on shoppin’. Is anyone else out there struggling to find the ideal family car that carries a litter of kids, gets good gas mileage, and includes those sexy, automatic opening doors? What are you driving these days?

Local-Yocal

I have a crush on a local hardware store, and now I may never shop at Lowes again.

It all started with the quest for the perfect new front door for our home. We live in an older contemporary, so Victorian-styled leaded glass framed in faux-wood-fiberglass just wasn’t an option (and let me tell you, there seems to be a whole-lotta of that out there!). I visited the usual suspects–Lowes, Home Depot, even the local Pella dealer–hoping to find a simple real-wood door with horizontal panels of glass. No such luck. So I wandered into Fitch Lumber in Carrboro with my son in tow and within seconds was helped by a person who actually knew something about doors and quickly offered me a catalog full of doors that are perfect for our house. It was love at first sight (no…not with the door guy, but with the overall experience of helpfulness AND good quality goods, all under one roof).

At the end of our six month experiment in consumer-free living, I pledged to shop locally whenever I had the chance, to support local businesses, find items that are often more unique than something found in a “box” store, and to increase the chances of purchasing something that hasn’t been shipped, trucked, driven, and flown from China or other far-away places. I’m not totally sure where this door is coming from, but I do know that I’m supporting a Carrboro business that has been around since 1907. And that makes me happy.

To further test our lumber-yard crush, we (and by WE I mean Carter and our dear friend Matt) decided to re-build part of our 30 year old deck. We don’t have a vehicle large enough to haul lumber (for those keeping score, we still haven’t purchased a mini-van, or any other new vehicle for that matter–still holding out for the perfect earth-mama mobile), so we called Fitch. They offered to deliver the wood for FREE, then, when we realized we (and by WE I mean Carter) had ordered the wrong size of wood, they picked up and delivered AGAIN for only $18. What’s not to love about this place?

Don’t get me wrong. Lowes is not ALL bad. They’re a NC company, and they’re open all day Saturday and Sunday and have an enormous inventory. But let’s be honest, the help is somtimes lousy, it’s crowded, and I often leave having purchased something that I’m 45% certain I’ll have to return. I’ve found that other shoppers are often more helpful and available than the “hired” help at the store. So, overall, my shopping experience at Lowes leaves much to be desired.

Shopping locally is all the rage (see cover of this week’s Time Magazine about local food), and I’m jumping on that bandwagon. I’m ready for a long term committment–if Fitch doesn’t carry it, then clearly I don’t need it in my home.